Happy Deathday

Years ago I had to travel from Hyderabad to Chennai for some work, related to a film I was making at that time and someone very close to me asked me not to go as the next day was her birthday. When I told her I have to go she asked me if that work was more important than her birthday. I asked her to tell me what was so important about her birth in the first place. I also told her that “I don’t celebrate my own birthday inspite of achieving whatever I have, whereas you have achieved nothing and why are you so gung-ho about wanting to celebrate your birth. If you think the mere fact that you are born calls for a celebration, don’t forget that when your parents had sex, the last thing that they would have had on their minds while doing it was to conceive you in particular. On the other hand your dad under temptation could have gone to a prostitute and that particular spermatozoa through which that woman might have conceived could have been you and you could have ended up in a miserable brothel. In effect when you have absolutely no control or no contribution in the process of what, who and why someone gave you birth, why should you make such a big deal about celebrating it?”
Needless to say she slapped me.
The obsession for birthdays most primarily comes from an intense fear of an individual that his or her existence might not matter to anybody else. So at least on that one particular day if an X number of people greet, it will make you feel like a star at least for that day and then you can wait like a nobody for another year to go by to become a star for yet another one day.
Incidentally the best birthday greeting I have ever received was in the form of an sms from an unknown number.
“Hey Ramu fucker, tere zindagi ka ek aur saal khatam. Marte Raho!”
This above sms I received kind of sums up my feelings about birthdays. I consider a greeting for my birthday as a truly ugly reminder that I am getting that much older and that much more nearer to death and consequently I have that much less time to do whatever I want to do.
If at all anyone needs to celebrate, they and their near ones should celebrate their achievements and not that they are born. I would rather someone close to me celebrate the day I conned a producer to give me a break than a day that I just happened to be born the way millions of people, animals and insects get born every day.
So in effect I am hoping that all you non-achievers who read this blog would cringe the next time someone greets you “Happy Birthday” the way I cringe in fear of death getting closer when someone greets me “Happy Birthday”.
P.S: Now that I have confessed why I fear “Happy Birthday” greetings I think I have given enough fodder to all you haters of mine out there to come out with the nastiest greetings of all kinds on my next birthday and you all should celebrate this moment. Ha Ha!
I broke up with that woman who slapped me a long long time back. On her last birthday I messaged her “Happy Birthday” and she did not reply.
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100 Responses to Happy Deathday

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